This is a personal choice that each widow must make for herself. I was very up front with them and told them how I felt and what was going on.
I did sweat a little over starting to date after only a couple months. Of course I waited several months to make sure it was more of a serious relationship before I opened up to them.
I am waiting for the proverbial poop to hit the fan. They can simply spy through the blinds across the street or stalk her house at all hours of the night pretending they were “just stopping by to say hi”.
I sit back down, slide my laptop over, hit refresh. In a world of social media and worldwide gossip, neighbours no longer need to walk three miles to gossip about the love life of the local widow.
Sometimes my new husband says the odd thing that will remind me of Craig or I’ll hear a song on the radio while we are driving in the car that will make me tear up. Everyone knows the person on the furthest side is safe.
Fact is, my new husband is my shoulder to cry on and the one I’ve vented to, talked to, and poured my heart out to through this whole ordeal so the subject of widowhood and my late husband is one we are both comfortable with. I don’t believe it was for a reason or his time to go or any of those things. They are both very different and that’s one of the things I like about each of them. It’s not so much that I prefer the left side or the right side. Oh and, yes, in case you were wondering, my darling husband reads everything I write, corrects my typos, laughs with me, lets me cry on his shoulder, and is the second chapter I never thought I’d be lucky enough to have.
Have you ever called him by your late husband’s name? And not for anything special – just asking him to bring the laundry upstairs. Fortunately he had a good sense of humour about it (and a short memory).Not because I didn’t feel ready, but because I was sick with worry over what others might think. A very wise widow once told me, “I fulfilled every marriage vow right until death do us part – can others say the same? I also brought up the general topic of potentially dating and shared with them how I felt several times leading up to the big announcement.” Whenever I got flack from outsiders, I would silently chant this to myself. When I did tell them, I opted for a well thought out email rather than telling them in person so they could digest it without having to worry about me seeing how they reacted.Not during very private moments, if that is what you are getting at.Before I started dating that was something I did worry about though.