Expect dating recovering addict

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When people work Step Four, they begin to realize that in order to stay clean and sober, they need to handle all their feelings--the good, the bad, and the ugly ones--in a healthy and safe way rather than covering them up with mood-altering chemicals or addictive behaviors.

Many PIRs who have numbed their feelings for so long start to actually feel again.

Because of this, some PIRs may have developed trust, intimacy, or abandonment issues.

As a result, they might view dysfunctional relationships as normal and seek out these types of unhealthy relationships in their new sober life, unless they are made aware of what they are doing and work diligently to release and heal their past.

A business that tries to sell useless or damaged things goes broke; a PIR who holds on to useless and unhealthy thoughts, feelings, and behaviors also goes "broke" and risks relapse.

Paul told me that, for him, the easiest part was to remember and list all the people he had harmed.In other words, there's often a lot for them to "unlearn" in recovery.In Twelve Step programs, and especially in Steps Four through Ten, PIRs learn how to develop healthy relationship skills.As the Big Book explains it, a personal inventory works much like a business inventory, similar to when a store owner sorts through his or her goods to see which are salable, which are damaged, and which have to be thrown out.When PIRs do a personal inventory, they list the things--their thoughts, feelings, character traits, and behaviors--that stand in the way of recovery and those personal strengths that can help in recovery.

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