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Rico, a 32-year-old gay guy, had this to say about his experience: Just after a friend introduced me to Grindr, by the end of the first week, without giving it much thought, I'd had three previously unknown sex partners over to my place. If you are in a primary relationship and looking to cheat -- apps likely are your fastest route to sex and potential relationship problems.In a heartbeat Grindr became my #1 distraction from stress, tedium, and loneliness, but it also quickly replaced dating and most of my social life. But do remember to 'play safe', especially if you're planning to keep this secret from a spouse.In less than five minutes, there he was, arms crossed, big smile on his face, right in front of me.It turns out he's a really sweet, straight, single, professional ballet dancer. And the great part for both of us is he isn't looking for a relationship, and neither am I, at least not for the foreseeable future.More accurately, these more accurately named, "sex-finder" apps are designed to help you geo-locate an immediately available, readily accessible romantic or sexual partner much in the same way that Yelp or Citysearch will direct you to a nearby four star sushi bar or Italian deli with a good smartphone and the flick of your index finger. Once downloaded and opened, sex finder apps bring up an instant photo grid of potentially available sex partners, presorted by location, gender, age and/or sexual preference -- all on your smartphone screen.

Marilyn, a 57-year-old single colleague of mine, recently reconnected with someone she had worked with many years ago. "No," Marilyn said with a laugh, "it's better than that: I'm in like with him — and that's exactly where I want to be." She further confided that they planned to make their reunions "a regular thing — if four times a year can be called 'regular.' But I think that's about all I really want." Marilyn's casual approach to maintaining a friendship with benefits typifies the mindset of older folks who have reconciled themselves to having "great fun" even if it's "just one of those things." And episodic pleasure-seeking may be more common than you think: In The Normal Bar, a book I wrote last year with Chrisanna Northrup and James Witte, we reported that 61 percent of female survey respondents who had partners fantasized about someone they had met.

As such, any jam-packed venue is now a prime cruising spot for app-aware people looking to get laid. Within three months I ended up getting fired for sneaking out of work to hook up.

This entire genre of apps has in effect turned your local dog park, museum, mall, and crowded train station into a gigantic "singles" bar (though not everyone is single). And if you have traditionally been the kind of person too shy to make the first move -- no worries, as long as your app is open it is actively signaling your availability, so it won't be long before someone finds you. And just as bad, two guys I genuinely liked dating dumped me when they found me cruising Grindr while they were in the other room making dinner or on the phone. But I still haven't been able to put the thing away and stay away.

Many older divorced or widowed men and women are in the same boat. You're probably not desperate enough to stalk your neighbors, or to go looking for friends with benefits in all the wrong places (bars come to mind).

They feel protective of their privacy and peace of mind, but they haven't become eunuchs or hermits. But offered a chance to reconnect with someone from your past — dinner with your high school steady, for example — you might just surprise yourself by winding up in bed.

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