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LEARN ALL ABOUT GRIEF Do some research about grief, read books and talk to others in similar situations.
Know what to expect on anniversaries, birthdays and other days that were special to your new partner and his/her late spouse.
Being aware and understanding about another person's feelings allows you to be gracious and sensitive to your new partner.
TALKING ABOUT A LATE SPOUSE: SHOULD YOU ASK QUESTIONS? If a couple were married at a young age, married a long time, or have children/grandchildren, it is going to be very difficult to talk about his/her life without mentioning a late spouse.
The latest post at Abel Keogh’s Running Forward Widower Wednesday talks about pre-nups, wills and adult kids who can’t wrap their minds around the idea that their parents’ “wealth” belongs to their parents and not them. People who were fine with idea of remarriage but adamant that their late spouse’s hard-earned this or that would never, ever, ever benefit in any way, shape or form the next spouse or, goddess in heaven forbid, his/her worthless children. What happens, or is accumulated on earth, stays on earth.
But just in case you can’t let go of the idea that procreation has saddled you with the task of scrimping, saving and leaving something to your grown up kids so they can enjoy a better retirement than you will, there are options like life insurance policies and trusts.If there is only some lingering grief, try to figure out together how to move forward - how to create new memories so the old ones can be tucked away and only revisited when fondly remembering a late spouse on a birthday or another special moment or day.Keep in mind that the heart is a very accommodating organ.The best way to avoid tantrums from adult kids if you should decide to remarry is to not have even given your children cause to believe they have the right to question you on the subject of remarriage and to never have intimated that they are somehow entitled to an inheritance.But if you haven’t done either, there is still hope. You should also make sure that you and your future spouse have thoroughly discussed all matters money.